My phone buzzed on the kitchen counter in Vancouver. It was a Weibo notification from a friend back in Shanghai: "#QQMusicNewSongRelease# The theme song for the movie Ma Teng, Don’t Go is out! Sung by Zhang Liangying and Mao Buyi. Link here."
I tapped the link, half-expecting it. Three seconds later, the familiar grey error screen loaded: "This content is not available in your region." I sighed, the sound almost drowned out by the rain outside. This wasn’t the first time. Last week, it was a variety show clip that buffered for five minutes only to display an error. The week before, trying to watch the latest episode of a drama felt like watching a pixelated slideshow.
It’s this weird, specific loneliness of living abroad. You’re physically making pasta in your own kitchen, but digitally, you’re stuck outside a door you used to walk through daily. You see the buzz, the shared excitement about a new song or show—the comments filling up with "The vocals are heavenly!" or "This scene made me cry!"—and you’re just… there. Holding your phone, staring at a loading icon or a block message.
Like this new duet, Yes, We Are Dancing. From the snippets and descriptions I could gather, it’s a gentle, philosophical song about embracing life’s imperfections and finding joy in the dance itself, not just the finale. It perfectly matches the movie’s theme about cherishing each "today." I could almost feel the melody my friends were describing. Yet, here I was, in a silent kitchen, feeling perfectly imperfectly disconnected.
And it’s not just about missing a single song. It’s the collective cultural moment that slips by. When everyone is using the same lyric as a meme, or a show’s catchphrase becomes the latest slang, you’re out of the loop. Conversations in family group chats suddenly have gaps. "Did you see that part where…?" your cousin asks. "Uh, my stream was stuck," you reply, which is technically true, but it’s more than just buffering. It’s your connection to the daily rhythm of back home, thinning out.
You start getting creative, and a little desperate. I have a friend in London who coordinates with her sister in Beijing: her sister screen-records episodes and sends them over via cloud storage in the middle of the night (her time). Another friend uses a sketchy free VPN that drops every twenty minutes, making a 45-minute drama a two-hour exercise in patience and frustration. We laugh about it, but it’s a tired laugh.
The irony doesn’t escape me. The song talks about dancing through life’s journey, about each moment being a unit of happiness. But part of my current "moment" involves this digital hurdle. That longing to press play and simply listen, to be part of that shared auditory experience without a 10-second lag or a sudden stop, is a very real, very mundane piece of the overseas life puzzle.
So, to my fellow overseas friends nodding along right now: you’re not alone. That spinning wheel of doom is a universal experience in our scattered community. That frustration when you just want to unwind with a show from home? Totally valid. How many times have you almost thrown your router out the window? (Don’t answer that.)
But here’s the thing—we’re also the most resourceful bunch. We find ways. We share tips in whispered digital corners (aka niche online forums). We discover that this struggle, as annoying as it is, is also a shared thread in our stories.
Maybe, in a way, figuring out how to access these blocked songs and shows is our own little dance—a slightly frustrating, technically challenging, but ultimately rewarding dance to stay connected to the rhythm of home. We just need to learn the right steps.
What about you? What’s the last show or song you desperately wanted to watch/listen to but got blocked? What’s your most creative (or most disastrous) workaround story? Share below—let’s swap notes and maybe find some better moves together.
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